Friday, July 18, 2008

An useful help, for an useless me

又来了又来了又来了。。。
那个讨人厌的我又来了,这次又有什么花样了。。。
乱了,我真的乱了,以为放下了,结果还是动摇了。
这次不是说感情事,这次说的是进修的事。


以为,结束了一切,结果人家问我,我到底要什么,我似乎并没有很明确的,也不很有信心地说出来,我是不要读书的。。。
人家说我还年轻,应该读书的。
21岁?怕没时间做工吗?往后的三四十年怕我做到抽筋。但是,如果我是要做生意的,现在出来做工,认识些人脉,对以后的生意也是有帮助的。
他们问我,你想要什么?
未来的路,你是怎么想的?
打工?做生意?
如果要打工,没继续读书是不足够的。
“你有心往什么地方发展?”一针见血当头棒喝。。。
答案打从心里涌出口:“是电脑绘图。”
当然,没有错,我爸有生意待我去接,但心里的答案骗不了。
所以,我乱了。
以为已经丢一旁的东西,被人家挖出来。
我又再面临机会只有一次的考验,天啊,我累了。。。真的。。。
我不想这样,放过我吧,只怕有一天我会崩溃。。。
我算算,这些年来,我决定了再放弃,放弃了再决定,又再重复的决定与放弃了多少回了?这种循环轮回我不要了。
这算是折磨吗?如果是,我做错了什么?
感情如此,事业学业竟也如斯。。。

21岁的我,站在人生的十字路口,回顾之前自己所写的:
#一个人走
一个人徘徊在十字路口
无法退后
前方遥无尽头
左边是此路不通
右边深怕又是另一个三岔口#


朋友,再帮我一次,再给我意见多一次,这次,我看你们了。。。
我会用双语写出这篇文,所以请给我多多的意见,请给我多多的帮忙,谢了。
永远爱你们。

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Again, again, and again!
Again, the disgusted one, which is me, what’s going on to me again this time…
I’m confused now, really. I thought I let go everything, but I still can’t really decide…
I’m not going to talk about relationship, or love thins this time.
I want to talk about my study, my future.


I thought, everything come to an end. But they ask me, they are my neighbors. Which her husband is an engineer in Intel.
He asked me, what I want. I seem like don’t have a very clear answer, and don’t have much confident to answer: “I don’t want to study…?”
He said:
You are still young; you should continue your study.
You are just 21 years old. Worry about no time to work in the future? Future 30 – 40 years you need to work until cramp…
If you choose not to study, continue to do your business, then if you stop now is okay. Now you work as retail, you know people a lot, it will be an advantage for your future business too.
BUT, he continue…
What you want?
In the future, what is your dream?
Employee? Employer?
If employee, Diploma is not enough…
“What you think now in your heart, what is the objective you are chasing now?”
It is like a hammer, hit on my head.
My answer is, without thinking, “Computer Drawing”
Yeah, everyone knows, I will take over my dad’s business one day.
But the answer from my heart is not a lie too.
So, I confuse now.
I thought it was something I already throw behind, but now…
I’m tired now, really.
I give up, and decide, give up and decide again, for many times already.
Is this a test from You, God?
If so, this is a suffer question for me, please let me go, I scare I will collapse one day.
Relationship problems, study problems, working problems, everything….


Friends, please help me again, give me comments again, and lend me your hand…
I use 2 languages to write this post, please do help me, thanks, and always LOVE you all.
Thanks.

11 comments:

JarrydNg said...

Panda, Remember that God never gives a burden that is not within our reach. Infact God wont be God if He/She (i am not a sexist) wants to burden us REMEMBER THAT. I dont see this a burden too. I see this situation as that little nudge you need to move you towards a better future. Yes! studying doesn't mean you will be sucessfull. However knowing you have a piece of paper to fall back to as a backup is something you cannot take lightly and its also depends on how much you want it. You are an intelligent person, your thoughts and rationale are far wiser than your age. This is my perspective of you. I hope i answer your question.

=r@In= said...

能說的我都已經和你說了..
其是你心裡面都已經有答案了..
隨心所欲吧!!

H e n r i c k said...

I will comment in English as it is much easier for me I guess. Not sure if what I think able to help you out, just think it over then.

To me, study is important. I know your dad's business is soon to be passing down to you, you are currently working to gain experiences perhaps in handling and managing, socializing is an added advantage to business development for your future. But as Jarry said, treat study as a backup for yourself, touchwood... just in case if one day your own business got close up, regardless of taking over or your new owned business. At least you still have the piece of paper to look for a job, as your neighbor said, a diploma is not enough.

This is why when I was in secondary, my dad kept on forcing me to study, even in college, I have to study hard until I finally got a degree, he then stop all the decision making for me, he told me that now I have the paper, whatever I want to do in the future is up to me now, whether to continue another level which is Master/phD or to start work.

Frankly speaking, I am a highly ambitions person who wants to runs own business, I have all the business ideas but I never take the 1st step. Perhaps I don't have the guts feelings and the motivations to take it, also with my low confidences. I am still working out with this, studying is just a non-stop learning for ourself. In actual fact, studying in which field doesn't mean we have to work in that field, we can always learn other fields by our own, but we just got to get that stupid piece of paper. As in reality, every company does look at the paper as 1st priority unless you are lucky to be hired (with a diploma/maybe with only SPM certificate) and work for more than 10 years in a reputable international company? able to perform very well? that would be different story. This is my dad's footsteps, but you have to bare in mind, that is the past. It's totally different now.

In conclusion, don't see your own business as a perfections for your future. We should always have a backup plan for ourself. Think and ask for yourself, what you want? You should have your answer, confuse is just an excuse for you to run away from the question.

JarrydNg said...

Bro get it right its Jarryd not Jarry. Thanks

Yui said...

For starters, you are not useless.
You are just at the bottleneck of a phase we call 'growing up'. At this stage, any kind of advice is meaningless, because what matters the most, is you yourself.

Panda, you know what you want, you just need to take the 1st step and reach for it. Remember it is your future, and your future lies in your own hands.

去追逐你的理想,尋找你想要的自由.

When there is a will, there is a way.

Life is never easy, but as we scale every obstacle, we will attain what we set out to achieve.

Gambatte !

P@nD@ Baby KinG said...

Jarryd pantang ppl call him Jarry 1...

P@nD@ Baby KinG said...

thanks thanks thanks to u all, love u all!!!

Jong Hui said...

为何你要改答案?
如果是为了别人的几句话,那又如何?
无可否认,那张纸真的会带来很多好处,如已被说服了,那你该知道答案了。
还是你喜欢现在的生活?舍不得?
前途是你的,最后决定归你。

你知道我中文查,但我花了大概二十分钟来回你这评论,希望你了解我的意识。

PS:希望错字少。

H e n r i c k said...

Sorry Jarryd. Have input your name into my memory cell. Will remember it well =)

Chi-Hao said...

I think u should have an answer in your mind. But what i can tell u is, if u want to study please do your best and put 100% effort in your study. I see many example in my uni life, one of my friend(once very good friend) 2 semester take 10 subject fail 6 to 7 subject so, whats the point study uni. There is no doubt to said that a paper is an important thing to judge your ability, but what if u already spend the money and time and u cant get this paper, people always said u can earn back the money u loss, but what about time?
All i can give u is just a suggestion, it is the same with other people, the future is yours, what we can do is just give u what we think and it is just a guidelines or a suggestion, you have to decide what u want to do in the future whether to study or not, if u want to study just put 100% on your study, if u want to work just completely focus on your job. Dont bother what people will said. I hope that this can really help u. Hope u can make a wise decision.

YeeWei said...

Haha......do what you think that suits you,as long as you like it..
Its your own way of living..haha...
you don't have to get comments or advice from people...
Remember..its yours...

I know my comment was kinda like useless...u can ignore if u wanted to..
lol...
Good luck in pursuing your dream...!!!